So here we are 7 weeks post delivery. Things here at the Carlson ranch have gone fairly smoothly.

I know I just jinxed myself, but really I am surprised at how smooth our transition into parenthood has gone.

Millie is a sweet tempered girl. She wants to eat, sleep and be snuggled.

We have hit a few snags in the poo department. Miss Millie is a lady through and through, she does not like to poo.
We have switched formula three times, added pedialyte to her diet, and cross our fingers everyday that we get some poo.

We have to keep a detailed log about eating times, diaper changes, color, texture and amount etc. Gross, I know, but it helps with sharing information with the doctor.
These are the facts of parenting.

Other than the poo, or lack there of, we really have enjoyed being new parents.
Picking out outfits each day, playing in the swing and glider.
Building her neck and spine strength with tummy time on the boppy and the play gym.
Watching for signs of new development. Things like smiles, eye contact, tracking, grasping, and physical growth.
Even just watching her sleep is entertaining. Especially since this little girl snores like she is breathing underwater! My sweet mermaid girl!

Some of our highlights the past 7 weeks …

•    Nicknames! I started calling Millie ‘Noodle’ pretty quickly after she was born. She is either being a soft, wiggly over-cooked noodle, or a Stiff uncooked noodle. We also call her Sweet-petite, Turtle face, and squiggle-but.

•    Millie Smiles! Of course the first few were just muscle twitches and gas, but in the last two weeks have seen real smiles. Grins and sideways smirks are almost a daily occurrence now.  I love when she smiles in her sleep. Just the thought of happy baby dreams is so awesome! I wish I could know what they were.

•    All the wonderful visitors and generous gifts that we have received. Grandma Kathy & Grandpa Bruce, Grandma Ruth & Grandpa Steve, Grandma Bonnie & Grandpa David, Uncle Ryan, Uncle Michael & Aunt Natalie, Missy, Donna & Dennis, Mindy & Courtney, Sanda & Eunice, Jodi, Great Aunt Linda & Tami, Mikey, Shannan, Hilary and Cori.

•    We have been lucky to receive some really great hand made gifts of blankets, sweaters and an adorable dress. Mikey brought us an official Sock Monkey, and Vanessa sent us a cute little stuffed animal and a kangaroo shaped jigsaw puzzle all the way from Australia!
Some of the greatest moments are the gross ones that make us laugh.
Troy was changing Millie on the changing table when she coughed and spit up at the same time. Thus sending partially digested formula flying toward his face. He had chucks of spit up on his neck, sweater, and in his beard.

We were having pictures taken of Mille at six weeks by our friend and photographer Jamie Clifford. We decided to try to get some cute naked pictures. We took off her diaper and while trying to calm her down and stop her tears, she peed all over me, so much to the fact that when I stood up it looked like I had peed my pants.

Millie’s first bath was hysterical and stressful at the same time. She screamed from the minute we undressed her until the minute we wrapped her up in her Elmo towel and snuggled her. She was bright red from anger and frustration. It is kind of horrible to say it was funny how furious she was over the whole thing.

We’ve had feeding issues with Millie, so we switched formula, tried gas drops, etc. The formula we’re currently using has a little bit of rice starch in it. Troy was feeding her one night in the middle of the night and she was not very happy. He was afraid that the bottle nipple was clogged, so he deiced to test it out by sucking on it. He discovered quickly that it was not clogged and found out exactly what baby formula tastes like, it isn’t good incase you were wondering.

Everyone tells you that having a baby will change you life. They say you’ll never know how much you could love until you hold your own child. You’d rush home from work to see them, you miss them terribly when you are separated, and while I feel like all of this has happened to us, I think the way we feel is best summed up by this statement from Troy.

“…..I didn’t expect the whole thing to be so much fun.”

In my last post I wrote about the trials of pregnancy. Well my journey came to an end two weeks ago, and a new adventure began.

Throughout most of my pregnancy when I would go to my monthly, then bi-weekly, then weekly appointments one of the things they would do was to test my pee. Gross detail I know, but hey it’s the truth.

In this test they were looking for signs of distress or infection in me or in baby. One of the tests would look for the amount of protein in the urine.

Most of the time I was testing at Plus One Protein. They attribute this to dehydration, which due to all the vomiting I was suffering from it made sense that this was my test result. I worked really hard to get this issue under control and for a few weeks I was successful.

Then, pop! I tested Plus Two Protein. This meant my levels were elevated enough that I had to do some additional testing, including blood work (blech!).
The first time this happened, the additional tests showed that all was good and had nothing to worry about.

A week later when I was at 37 weeks, I tested Plus 2 again, then again at 38 weeks.
At that point I had also started experiencing swelling, some headaches and my blood pressure began to become elevated with even the slightest of activity. I had also started working half days to try to alleviate the swelling and headaches.
My doctor decided to repeat the additional testing, and this time I failed.

Going into the testing I had a few options. The tests were looking for preeclampsia.
This is a scary thing for pregnant women. I was lucky that if I did test positive, that my baby was already full term.

The only “cure” for preeclampsia is to deliver the baby. This wouldn’t be a big deal for me, as Little Miss was fully cooked, but some women aren’t so lucky.

If I passed the tests, I was going to go on full time bed rest until closer to, or just after Christmas. It would have meant only missing 4 days of work, since I was in the last week before Christmas break.

Failing the tests meant I was going straight to the hospital to be induced.

While I was excited about having my baby, and Troy was beyond excited about the concept, I didn’t want to be induced. I wanted to be able to wait for labor to come naturally. I had ideas about feeling things change, knowing it was time, going through pre-labor at home, driving to the hospital at the right time etc.

These things were not to be.

Tuesday, December 15th my doctor called me at 9:30 A.M.
She informed me that I had indeed failed the test. While my blood tests came back normal (a very good thing) my urine test was well over 300. This meant my kidneys were not processing things 100% the way they should and that I had indeed developed preeclampsia. My case was mild, but it did mean that I needed to head to the hospital to be induced.

Troy was out walking the dog when I received this phone call. When he came in I was standing at the top of the stairs and said,
“Well Dr. Jenkins called, and we’re going to have a baby today.”
He was so excited.
It took us about an hour to gather everything up and head to the hospital. As time to leave got closer I began to feel more nervous about what was going to happen over the next few hours, I started to feel nauseated, so I told Troy I was going to have to drive, or risk barfing in the car.

It makes for a good one liner, to tell people I drove myself to the hospital the day the baby was born.

When we arrived at the hospital my Mom, who was going to be with us in Labor and Delivery, met us in the parking lot.   We checked in and were shown to the labor and delivery room.

I changed into my hospital gown, and the first of many medical professionals came in. This gal started my multi-port IV. I was immediately hooked up to a bag of Magnesium Sulfate, and then a little later they added pitocin.
Around 12:30-1 some one came in and used a special hook to break my water.
That was gross.
I expected the initial gush of liquid, but not that it would continue to gush periodically through the entire process. Ick.

About 30 minutes after they broke my water, I began to feel the contractions. At first they weren’t too horrible. I had heard from friends, and in my birthing classes that an induced labor would hurt a little more because the pitocin caused the contractions to come a little harder and faster than natural contractions would necessarily be.

These really weren’t so bad, which I later learned was most likely due to the fact that Magnesium Sulfate is the drug they give women to stop or slowdown pre-term labor. So my two bags of drugs were essentially working against each other, yet still working, and really seemingly working to my advantage.

I hung in until about 4pm and then asked for my epidural. I know some people believe that you should have a baby with no drug assistance. Others strongly feel that there is no reason not to have pain medication. I have always felt to each his own, and me, I am a gimme the drugs girl.
The best comparison I have ever heard was this:
You wouldn’t go to a dentist and have a root canal with out pain medication, you wouldn’t have your appendix taken out with out pain medication, so why do it to your self when having a baby?

I will, however admit that I was fearful of receiving the actual epidural. I am a tad jumpy when it comes to needles. I don’t have an issue getting a shot; it is more an aversion to having blood drawn. I have had a few bad experiences and it just makes me nervous. The idea of a needle going into my spinal cord…nerves go into over drive.

The anesthesiologist and the CRN came in.
My Labor nurse instructed me to sit on the edge of the bed with my legs dangling over the side. Troy was instructed to sit down in a chair, as was mom. They told Troy he could pull his chair close to the bed, but they didn’t really let him get as close to me as he would have liked.

The nurse told me to hang my head, tuck my chin to my chest and let my arms hang loose. This was all well in good, but it made me feel very unstable, like I was going to fall off the bed.

The CRN was the one putting in my actual epidural, and the anesthesiologist was standing off to the side. I never saw him, but I could hear him, and at first I was really very intimidated and fearful of him.
Remember, that I am having contractions through all of this, I am trying to hold still, and I am nervous about this whole process.

Getting the epidural didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t the most pleasant experience.

The CRN kept hitting the needle on my spine bones. Which didn’t hurt, but felt wrong. This feeling would make me kind of involuntarily shudder/jump away from the CRN. These movements made everyone in the room react.

The nurse would urge me to hold still, Troy wanted to stand up to get closer to me to help support me, and would be told to sit back down, and the anesthesiologist would yell at me that if I didn’t hold still I wouldn’t be able to get the epidural.

Eventually the CRN did get the needle in the right spot, inserted the flexible tubing and the medicine began to flow.

Almost immediately I began to feel relief and was happy to be past a labor milestone that I had been so nervous about.

For the next two and a half hours time flew by and I was pretty comfortable. I was able to be chatty with my mom and Troy. They were watching the monitors and keeping tabs on the length and duration of the contractions, as I couldn’t really feel them anymore.

Around 6:15, things began to change. Suddenly the left side of my body felt really heavy and numb, but the right side didn’t. I began to feel very sharp pain in the lower front of my right abdomen. It was a pain that would come on slowly, intensify and then slowly release again. I knew something was wrong.

I was feeling full on active labor contractions, but only on the right side and I knew this wasn’t right. We talked with my L&D nurse, who started to check things by poking me with a straightened paper clip. When she poked me on the left, or high on my right side I couldn’t feel anything, but I was able to clearly tell them exactly when a sharp pain was coming, peaking and then stopping, and my timing was perfect with the monitor that was recording my contractions.

The L&D nurse called the CRN back into the room. She augmented my epidural with another dose of meds. But a few minutes later I was still hurting, and the pain was getting more intense.

This time they called the anesthesiologist in. I was nervous about him coming in, as he was the one who had intimidated me before when he was in the room.

By the time he arrived the nurse already had me sitting up on the side of the bed. This time Troy sat down in a chair right up next to the bed and had his hands on my waist. I leaned over and put my forehead on his and just tried to focus on him.
I never actually saw the anesthesiologist, as I had my back to the door, but I recognized his voice the minute he walked in.

Later Mom would tell me that when he walked in he had a swagger about him that mom has seen in many doctors. The look and swagger that suggests, that he knows everything and that we know nothing and he can’t wait to show us up, or prove us wrong.

He definitely changed his thought process quickly, and mom was sure to call him on it. (Everyone says I get my attitude from my dad, but really it is mom, from dad I get the lack of filter and I share the attitude more readily, but trust me, mom is the one with the ‘tude. Especially when she knows she right.. just like me)

The anesthesiologist came in the room with a bag of ice in his hands. His plan was to lay it on my back and ask me what I could and could not feel.
He started with my left side; he asked, “Do you feel that?”
I responded, “No, are you doing something?”
Then he did the same thing to my right side and immediately I said, “oh! That is cold”

Right then, the swagger melted from his face. He began to try to wriggle the flexible tubing that was already inserted. He wasn’t able to manipulate it the way he wanted, and Troy saw him give a kind of “knowing look” to the L&D nurse.

At this point Troy was ready to blow his cool with everyone in the room. He hadn’t been happy with the way the staff had acted when I got my epidural the first time, and was less impressed with the attitude the anesthesiologist came in with this second time. The passing look between the nurse and the anesthesiologist was almost too much for him to bear.

The anesthesiologist said I needed to lie down on my side, and thankfully that was enough to loosen the tubing, and he was able to take out the first epidural, and replace it.

He did it so quickly and smooth, that I didn’t feel anything.
When the anesthesiologist was done, he said, “well that should fix it, it had slipped, and really needed to be redone.”

Mom responded, “ I know, and I know you didn’t think that when you walked in. I spent to many years with you doctors. I know how you are. “  (See what I mean about the ‘tude. Don’t mess with a momma bear.)

At this point things began to progress quickly. I felt loads better, and really I was more comfortable than I had been even when the first epidural was working.

Now I began to feel an immense pressure in my vaginal are, which when the nurse asked me where the pressure was, I replied, “ in my delivery Zone”.

I expressed this to the L&D nurse, and she asked me if it was painful, I said a little yes, but it was a lot of pressure with some pain. Again they augmented my epidural and while I still felt the pressure, I felt no pain.  I was pain free to the point that a few contractions went by completely with out my notice.

At 7:00 the L&D nurse informed me that Dr. Jenkins was finishing with her last office appointment and then would be heading to the hospital.

This made Troy really nervous, but as I was a little distracted by my situation I just kind of went with it. At 7:15 the L&D nurse told me it was time to push.

She changed the shape of the bed I was laying in, lowering the part under my behind, lifting up leg supports that held me up under my thighs and calves, and then sat the back of the bed up so I was in more of an upright position. They also pulled up some handles that were right next to my hands and told me to hold them, and to pull on them like I would if I was rowing a boat.

This made me laugh, while I knew instantly what they wanted me to do, I wanted to look at them and say, “do I look like someone who rows a boat?”

The act of pushing was actually done in sets of three. When a contraction started they had me take a deep breath in and out, then take another breath and hold it in for a count of ten. During this count of ten I was to bear down and push.
I was instructed to do this three times with in one contraction. I did this twice before Dr. Jenkins arrived.
Once she came in things seemed to just go in a whirlwind. Everything happened so fast. I pushed four more sets of three, for a total of six sets, or 18 pushes, and out came my baby girl.

During the pushing Troy was standing next to my head, but since I was in such a sitting position, he was really more by my side, and mom was standing right behind him.

Initially Dr. Jenkins asked me if I wanted the mirror that was in the ceiling tilted down so that I could see what was happening, and I said no, but every time I would push the oohs and ahhs that Mom and Troy were expressing, and the way they were cheering me on made me want to see what was going on, so I then asked if the mirror could be tilted down, and I am so happy that I did.

It may seem gross, or weird because it is a big bloody mess, and your body is contorted in a way that seems unnatural, plus, I mean who really spends a lot of time using a mirror to look at their own whooie when not pregnant or delivering a baby.

But I swear to you as a non-crunchy-granola-dirty-hippie-epidural accepting-not-breast-feeding girl, it was the most incredible and amazing thing I have ever seen. I highly recommend it, and most people are shocked to hear me say it, but I swear to you it was awesome!

Once baby girl came out they wrapped her in a blanket and laid her on my chest. She was gooey and covered in vernix and other bits of blood and amniotic fluid. Her eyes were bright and wide open. I was in such amazement all I could do was look at her and say hi over and over and over again.

After a few minutes of me holding her, and Troy getting to take some pictures, they took her to the in room carriage to clean her off more and give her the Apgar screening. They had her for about 5 minutes then when she was 99% clean they gave her back to me so I could hold her next to my skin. At this point we finally shared her name. Amelia Jean McLaughlin Carlson was in the world. Troy ran out to the waiting room to announce to Kathy, Bruce, Michael, Natalie and My dad that she was here and I was fine and that everything was great.  Mom snapped more pictures and when Troy came back into the room she went out to share the pictures on her camera.

Once things had settled down more, I was able to have some visitors. Kathy and Bruce came in and were so excited! Dad was excited, and mushy with tears, Michael and Natalie were just in awe of the whole thing.

After everyone left, and I was moved to a post partum room. I was told that I had to keep my IV of Magnesium Sulfate in for the next 12 hours and in addition to that I was given some pretty strong pain medication that completely knocked me out. The blood pressure monitor on my arm was set to check my pressure every hour, and I never felt it once. I was given 10mg of the same drug that Rush Limbaugh was addicted to and abused, and I seriously do not know how that man functioned while on these drugs.

The next morning I was released from my IV prison. At 10:00 am I was moved up to the fifth floor for the rest of my hospital stay. This was nice because now we were on the same floor as the baby nursery where Amelia had spent her first night.  The rest of our baby adventure at the hospital was pretty smooth. Kathy & Bruce, Steve & Ruth, Michael & Natalie, Mom & Dad, Carolyn, and Shannan visited us.
Everyone ooohed and awed over our little girl.

Thursday morning we were given the go ahead to head home. I think we were both a little nervous about it. While part of me wanted to go home, part of me was okay with staying in the hospital where at the drop of a hat someone else would come and help us with anything we needed or wanted for us or for baby.

We gathered all of our stuff, dressed and bundled our sweet girl, and were wheeled out of the hospital.

I had been pregnant for 38 weeks and 4 days. I threw up for the majority of that time. I lost 20 pounds in the process and still at my largest weight never made it back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
I had dealt with aches and pains, swelling and headaches, stress and worry, but it was one of the most interesting and exciting times in my life. I loved knowing I had this amazing experience going on inside of me. I loved watching my belly grow (once it finally did) and I loved watching it move around as my daughter shifted around inside. Having ultrasounds done, hearing her heartbeat during routine doctor visits, getting her nursery ready, and going to showers, all of it was a once in a life time experience.

Even if we do decide to have another child, the adventure will be completely different from this first experience of bringing Millie into the world.

I picked up a nickname when I was in my 20’s, Goddess of Chaos. Why? Well, while some people are born under a lucky star, I was born under Murphy’s Star. You know Murphy.. He has that law; anything that can go wrong will go wrong…yeah I am well aware of this law.

I can list off a variety of reasons and experiences to support this nickname, those of you who know me however; I merely have to say the phrase.. “Flat tire” and you begin to smile knowingly and understand what I am talking about.
So, I should have figured there would be some unexpected chaos with the pregnancy. I’d have to say that this time I have really outdone myself.
Every woman experiences some sort of uncomfortable issues during the course of her 40 weeks. Nausea, fatigue, leg cramps, constipation, food cravings or food turn-offs, stretch marks, weight gain etc. These are just a few of the usual suspects. Going into the pregnancy I expected to deal with most all of those listed above, just not all at the exact same time.
About a week after my positive home pregnancy results, I started to feel kind of queasy from time to time. I started nibbling crackers in the mornings, increased my water intake, and seriously cut back on eating or drinking anything sweet. For the most part, this seemed to get me through. I thought, “Okay, this isn’t going to be so bad.”

This phrase is what is known as Famous Last Words.

As I sit here writing this entry I am 37 weeks pregnant and the last time I barfed was yesterday afternoon. Oh yea, it is that bad.
The “morning” sickness moved into my body like that gross Mucinex Booger guy on TV and refused to move out.
I have tried every homeopathic remedy out there. Ginger is not the end all be all people, while it is fairly tasty and did help a smidge; it was like trying to catch the water from Niagara Falls in a thimble.
I am currently taking the most expensive anti-nausea drug available and wearing a pair of super sexy gray elastic sweatbands around my wrists 24/7.

Let me tell you it is not a fashion statement I ever wanted to make. Troy however does like them and calls them my punk rock bands.

If I was in better spirits about the whole thing, I might have taken some time to decorate them with lightning bolts, or skulls or something, but since my humor on this whole topic is rather thin, I didn’t.
Even with all of that, I am still dealing with sickness. Any strong odor sends me running. There are moments when I can’t even hear about food, see a commercial on TV (grilled chicken from KFC is so gross I can barely mention it in this post), so you can forget having any type of conversation about what I might want to eat for lunch or dinner.
This is very frustrating for poor Troy. He has had a lot of solitary meals, and missed out on some great resturant experiences due to my issues.
So ralphing for 37 weeks aside, how’s the rest of the experience? Pretty normal I guess…. I mean I have nothing to compare it to since this is my first one, and if Troy has anything to say about it, it might be my last. He has asked me several times which country I would like to purchase our next child from.
I mean isn’t it normal to faint from standing in the shower? To have a bloody nose that lasts for 30 plus minutes?

To feel totally fine one minute and then rush to the bathroom to suddenly get ill, only to arrive and have the feeling pass? Does everyone lose so much weight in the beginning, that when a tiny pooch of a belly finally does decide to grow it instantly puts to much strain on your belly button and herniated it, making it the single most tender spot in the world, to which to slight touch causes your eyes to tear up?

How about to then crack a rib coughing (since you can’t take any real cold medicine), or pull a hip out of socket, or feel like your skin is on fire because it is pulled so tight that a stretch mark appearing would be a welcome sign?

All of this and more have been the milestones of my pregnancy, and just so you know I am leaving a lot out that would just be too much information for any casual reader. I can hint only at this, I never thought that the perils of pregnancy would help me to understand frat boys so much.

So cross your fingers gentle reader that the delivery and some of the trials of raising this precious cargo of mine will be a little less traumatic than the process of growing her has been!

As soon as we announced our pregnancy we were asked three questions by almost everyone we talked to.
1. When are you due?
2. Are you going to find out the sex?
3. Do you have any names picked out?

Answers?
We are due December 25th; we are going to find out the gender, and Boschembechler. Which usually caused a funny reaction from anyone we told, given that we said it as if it was one word, and we’re from Columbus Ohio.

As the weeks progressed, we did find out the gender, and were elated to discover we were having a little girl! Now the name pressure was on, and Boschembechler was out.

Naming anything is a difficult thing to do. I stressed for a week or two trying to pick the right name for Ruby when she was a puppy. Her name is perfect and fits her to a tee. I cannot imagine her with any other name.

Naming really is tricky.
Do you become the name, or does the name control you?
Is every Trixie destined to be a stripper?
Is every girl named Bernice doomed to lonely nights spent in the library with no friends or boyfriends?
In the 80’s John Hughes told us “Claire is a fat girls name.”

Even the baby naming books will steer you away from certain names by attaching negative connotations to them.

Besides that, being a teacher adds a whole other element to the name game. Having experienced four or five years of Makayla’s
(All spelled in a variety of ways ranging from normal to barley legible)
The last thing I wanted for my own child was a “popular” name. I was lucky enough to not have a popular name, but my brother Michael wasn’t so lucky. No matter what my mother claims, as “classic” a name as Michael is, from the mid 1970’s to the mid 1980’s Michael was one of the most Popular names. Michael had 5 other kids in his kindergarten class named Michael. The teacher basically renamed them all the first day of school. Mike, Mikey, Mick, Michael, Mickey etc. You get the picture.

I also see first hand the problems with giving your child a “regular” name, but making it unique by tweaking the spelling.  Names like Marcus being spelled M-a-r-q-u-i-s.
This isn’t fair to do to your kids, people. They will spend their lives having to correct people on how to pronounce and spell their name. They run the risk of misspellings on important documents like diplomas and financial forms.

Then there is the crazy kid factor. As a teacher you often see patterns in names. More than one wild child named Josh, starts to make you wonder, coincidence or curse? You ask other more veteran teachers and they will have a short list of “no-no names” for both boys and girls.

So other than being stuck between a rock and a hard place… this is where we found ourselves.
I am a planner, and wanted to buy a variety of baby naming books, methodically go through them eliminating unworthy names and deducing the perfect name for our child.

Troy, not so much.

He says he “needs to meet her”. This is a statement that made me nervous. I could envision the two of us desperately trying to pick a name between contractions in the labor and delivery room.
We compromised by deciding to create a short list of names we like, and then deciding on the best fit when little miss makes her first appearance.

With just 9 weeks to go, we do have a short list, but have decided not to share any of the names on that list for one reason, and one reason only.

People, for whatever crazy reason, think they have a right to an opinion about your name choices. Opinions they readily share with out your asking for them.

Parents –to- be:  “We really like the name Ramona.”
Rude Idiot people: “Oh, I knew a horrible girl in high school named Ramona. I hated her. Don’t pick that.”
Or
“Ugh, really why? What a weird name. That kid is gonna hate you.”
Or
“Oh I know a kid named Ramona, she is such a brat.”

I could go on and on, but I won’t. And while I will admit that some people should share their potential baby names, so as to avoid some of the truly heinous names that I have seen and heard of (Parents of little baby Pimp-Juice Johnson … I mean you) we are not in danger of this, so our list is a secret. Though after talking to my Mom about some of the ancient family names on our tree, Baby Seenaliz or Gynalee are kind of growing on me…

These are the first two ultrasound images we received to confirm that the pregnancy had taken and that the baby was in the right spot.

The first picture is the official ultrasound picture…the second is Troy doodling so that we had something to look at.

These three pictures were taken when I was nearly 11 weeks.  They were our first peek at the little bean that has been making me so sick!  The ultrasound technician was as excited as we were by how much the baby was moving around.  You can see a profile in the first picture, his/her little frog legs in the second (I hope he/she doesn’t turn out as bowlegged as daddy!) and in the third picture, you can see that bean is showing off their little foot.

Our next ultrasound will be a gender determination appointment.  We are both really excited for this as we want to be able to refer to baby as he or she and no longer “seseme”, “grape”, “kiwi”, “lemon”, etc…

So months and months and months ago, I was goofing around online and stumbled across a banner ad for M&M candies that you could personalize. I went to the website and checked it out. You could choose either 2 colors, or a variety pack of 3.
You had 2 lines for words, and 7 letters per line per M(&M).
I thought this would be a great way to announce to our parents that they were to be grandparents! I showed it to Troy, and he liked the idea. He wasn’t thrilled about the price, but decided to let sleeping dogs lie, and let me have my way on this one. I will admit they were a bit pricey, but you only get to announce the first grandchild one time!
We planned to order pink and blue M&M’s with the words: “We’re Pregnant” on one, and “Grandma Grandpa” on the other.
So, as you probably saw in my previous post, the morning I got my positive test, I told Troy to order up!

I however, couldn’t wait for the candies to tell my mom. She has been so much a part of this roller coaster  ride with us the past 18 months, that I was just bursting to tell her. I also knew, that being a woman, a mom, and a nurse, (who gave me the Magic Mojo shot) she knew exactly when I would be able to know something, and I didn’t want to lie to her. ( I did enough of that in high school. Sorry Mom) So Friday morning, as I was pulling out of the garage, I sent her a text message. I know, how very modern of me! It read. “Morning Grandma. Got a positive test, waiting on blood work, still a secret keep a lid on it.”
When I got to work I shot Troy an email saying I had texted Mom and was waiting on a response. To my surprise, he was mad at me for telling her with out him. When I did finally talk to mom, she was so excited, and she then told me the funniest story.

Back in good ‘ol 1976, when Mom first suspected she might be pregnant with me, she made an appointment at her doctors office to have blood drawn. They didn’t have the luxury of pee tests back then. She had the blood drawn on the way to work, and at her lunch break, she decided to call and see if the results were in. Due to the fact that Mom’s office is small, and it is impossible to make a private phone call there, she decided to walk to the nearest pay phone to call. She walked down to a pay phone, called the Doctor’s office. The office answered the phone and said

” Oh Mrs. McLaughlin, we have good news for you! Your blood test was positive. You are pregnant.”

Mom’s immediate response was …”Oh, okay.” and she hung up the phone and walked away. She got about a block away, before it all really dawned on her, and she spun around and ran back to the pay phone to call the office back. When they answered she could hear them all cracking up!

“We wondered how long it would take you to call us back!”
Fast forward to that fateful Friday morning, and she opens up her phone to read the text message, sees it and instantly slams the phone shut. A couple of beats pass and she thinks to herself, “oh God, I need to read that again!”
I laughed so hard when she told me that. 32 years later and she had the exact same reaction!

We ordered the M&M’s and it took until the next Wednesday to arrive. When they arrived, Troy was excited. (I knew he’d see it my way!) We decided to tell my Dad on Friday night. Dad had a great reaction. When we  gave him the bag, he looked down at it and just started grinning! Then he asked my mom if she had know and when she said yes, he said “I knew it! Jerk!” He proceeded to give her hard time for more than a week. Periodically calling her jerk.
You’ll remember I mentioned before that Troy was mad at me for not being able to wait to tell my mom.
Troy’s Mom and Step-dad were going to be passing through Columbus on Saturday on the way back from their vacation. Troy had it all planned to tell them at dinner. They arrived around 12:30 that afternoon, and as we were moving from the front door to the living room, I see Troy run upstairs. I knew exactly what he was doing. He came back down stairs and we exchanged glances, he just shrugged as if to say.. “what are you gonna do? I can’t help it”. He hands the bag of candies to Kathy and she is instantly squealing and hugging us both. I just laugh at Troy, and he says,”Okay, I can’t be mad at you  for not waiting anymore.”

The next pair who got the big news were Michael and Natalie. We met them out for dinner at CBC (Columbus Brewing Company). They were already seated when we arrived. When the waitress arrived, Troy ordered a drink, and I a water. We gave Michael and Natalie the M&M’s (modified to say Aunt and Uncle). At first they looked at the package and said ” oh Yum, M&M’s”

Natalie started to put them away in her purse, when she noticed the label on the bag declaring they were personalized.  She looked at them again, closely this time and started squealing. Michael looked at her as if she had lost her mind, and then took the package to look at himself. They were both very excited. Michael is especially looking forward to teaching our sweet baby to say a variety of odd ball phrases. Such not calling a door, a door but a portal. It isn’t a car, but a four wheeled combustion machine. He is so very strange.

A trip to Indiana was our next plan. We called and arranged to visit Ruth and Steve, and have a nice quite family dinner. With the WHOLE family. Not just Ruth and Steve, but the girls, their boyfriends, Ryan, and Uncle Bob and Aunt Rena to boot. I was sure that Ruth suspected something, but she swears she had no clue. Kristy on the other hand was right on top of things. She told Ruth she just knew we had an announcement to make, because we never come to visit in the spring. She was right on both accounts, however, we still have never visited in the spring, because our plans were derailed.

The week we had planned to go was when the morning sickness really took hold of me. Rather night sickness is a better term, add to it motion sickness. I had experienced several bad trips to and from work so being in the car was proving difficult. Still, we packed our bags, loaded up the car and headed out. We made it to Marysville. ( for those of you not familiar with the Columbus area, that is about 20 miles from home). Troy turned the car around and we headed home. I was really very upset that we were not going to get to make the trip. The more upset I got, the more sick I became.

Thankfully I have the most wonderful husband in the world and he really was not upset with me for not being able to make the trip. When we got home Troy called his dad and informed him that we had both good and bad news. The bad being that we were not coming, the good being the reason we were not coming was “his wife was too pregnant to make the trip”

Needless to say they were thrilled, and Kristy was very excited to know she had guessed correctly.  Troy packaged up their M&M’s and mailed them off.  Ruth and Steve then spread our news to the rest of the family that would attend dinner that night. We received many congratulatory phone calls that night and weekend.

Recently Ruth and Steve made the trek to C-bus to take us out to dinner to celebrate. It was wonderful to see them and get to talk the Baby talk with them.

Sharing with our friends trickled out slowly here and there. Most of my friends at work were among the first to know due to my sickness and lack of appetite and energy.  We are so excited that everyone has been so very happy and excited for us.

Troy keeps saying to me ” I can’t believe they are going to let us have a baby!” I am not sure who this mystical “they” is, but here we are and hopefully the Powers That Be will remain our our side as we make this journey.

April 4th we had the IUI procedure done with Dr. Williams at Ohio Reproductive Medicine. Our appointment was early that Saturday morning, and while it didn’t hurt, or even take very long, I ended up spending the rest of the afternoon and evening in bed with some uncomfortableness.  We had to wait two weeks post procedure before we could either A. expect a menstrual cycle, or B. take a home test. I have never in my life lived two longer weeks than those.
On Friday April 10th, I had blood drawn to check my progesterone level. In the past when we have had this done, we had to wait for the score to see if we’d even had a possible ovulation. In this case, because of the vaginal ultrasound (sorry boys) and the shot of Baby Making Mojo I took prior to the IUI, I knew I had ovulated. My score was 59. We were excited, but tried to maintain clam, as we had been burned by high progesterone scores in the past.
Thursday April 16th was day 27 in my cycle. I knew that I could take an early predictor test that day, but also knew it might be a tad early and register a false negative. So I decided to throw caution to the wind and take the test. I didn’t even tell Troy I was going to do it. When the test registered with a blue plus sign indicating a positive result I nearly passed out. When I collected my self, I walked into the other room, where Troy was checking his email, and said
” You’d better order those announcement M&M’s Daddy.”
He jumped out the chair and hugged me right away. He was so excited.
As I headed to work that day I was so excited, and still nervous at the same time. I called Dr. Williams office, and they told me to get blood drawn that night to confirm.
After work we went to Riverside, to the blood draw lab with which we have become all too familiar in the last 18 months.
The next morning Dr. Williams nurse Nancy, called me to tell me the results were in and we had a winner! My score was 68. They were looking for a score between 50 and 500 for this first draw.  She then informed me that she wanted the test to be repeated until my score was over 1000. The score is expected to roughly double every 48 hours. So at that rate I was in for 3 more blood draws.
My second result on Monday was 268, and my third on Thursday was 1018! I was super excited then because it meant that not only were we well on our way, but I also didn’t have to have that last blood draw. YEAH!
I used an online due date caluculator and determined that I am due on Christmas Day! We’ve already started talking about ways to make sure our poor Christmas baby still feel like they have a special birthday, that the day doesn’t get lost in the Christmas mess.

So what’s next? Sharring with the parents (now soon to be GRANDparents) as well as our siblings and a few close friends.
Because this time is still so precarious, we don’t want to shout it to the whole world, which is why if you are reading this blog post, you’ll notice I wrote it while things were fresh and new, but didn’t post it until we knew we were entering the “safety zone”
So, if we’ve seen you between April 16th and now, and have lied to you… sorry. You’ll just have to forgive us on this one.

So, the fertility game still plays on. I thought I would send out an update for those of you who are interested in this particular game.

After two more unsuccessful months with the “clomid break” we went for the meeting to get more information on the IUI process. The first part was very similar to what we have already done; take 150 mg of clomid on days 3-7.  Then the differences started. On day 13 I had a vaginal ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that we had some enlarged follicles on one side, but they weren’t quite as large as we would want. I was pretty disappointed, fearing that this was a sign of a larger problem. My fear was quickly dissipated when the doctor shifted the ultrasound wand and proclaimed.. “Oh Here We Go! That’s what we’re looking for.” I’ve never seen a doctor get so excited about a body part. So, that night we had to take an injection of more baby making mojo. (And when I say we, what I mean is me) 34 hours later, Troy made a deposit at the doctor’s office, so it could be washed. (A process of separating the actual sperm from the rest of the fluid) 2 hours later I came in for my appointment. The whole thing was over and done with in less than 2 minutes.

So now we’re in the wait and see portion of our story. We still had a progesterone level drawn on day 21, and the results were positive. So now we’re waiting for days 28-35 to arrive, so we can test.

The Doctors office wants us to call if we get a positive result so they can have us do a blood test. We’ll do two blood tests a few days apart to make sure that Hgc levels are still doubling.

So how do we fell about all of this? Excited, nervous, hopeful are just a few emotions running through us. We’ve talked about all different kinds of scenarios and plans, but the truth of it is, what ever comes our way, we’ll take it.

Hopefully soon we’ll have some good news to report, and fun pictures to start posting. Until then, we’ll keep our fingers crossed.

I have been tinkering with the idea of writing a post on this topic for a while, but I wasn’t sure if A. I wanted to open up to the world on this one, or B. that you want to hear about it.
Then I decided that the writing process was more cathartic for me, and that it isn’t like the whole world reads my blog. Since most of my readers already know some of these sordid details, I figured what the hey… as Melissa says, “sometimes you just need to blog it out”

Before Troy and I got married we had “The Conversation”. The one where you kind of lay out all the expectations you have about being married. Who takes out the trash, who does the laundry, how nit picky are you on general cleanliness, where do you stand on kids, politics, education and religion. Things people need to discuss so you aren’t surprised down the road.

We were pleasantly surprised to find we had a lot of similar views, and figured our transition would be fairly smooth.
In the “kid” conversation, we also talked about the factor that our age played into the whole process. Since neither of us are spring chickens, we don’t really have the option of waiting to be married for 5 or 6 years before embarking on the breeding train.

In the fall of 2007 we began to inch our way toward parenthood. We stopped using any kind of birth control, and figured we’d just see where things led. Right away we hit a bump. My body, being the boss of itself for all these years, was not doing well with the withdraw symptoms of no more birth control. The old girl just quit working.
So after several months of waiting, one extremely frustrating phone call, and a trip to the doctor, we had an answer. No progesterone.
What does that mean? Well, progesterone is a hormone that helps your body to ovulate.
No progesterone, no ovulation, no chance at a pregnancy.
Blarg.
So after discussing options with the doctor, we started taking medication. Well, I started taking medication, Troy started listening to me complain about side effects.
Each month I take the pills for four days, then on the 21st day of the cycle, I have blood drawn (and you know how much I love that!). A couple days after the blood is drawn the doctors’ office calls me with a progesterone level. Then we cross our fingers and wait. Of the first 6 months we have endured this process, only 3 of them had a score worthy of even hoping.
Earlier in November of 2008, I had a test done to check to see if my old girl had some issues. I had what is called an HSG test. It was semi-painful, and kind of gross, so I will spare you the details. The long and the short of it is that every thing looked good. There was no pregnancy-blocking monster to vanquish.

After the HSG test, we did two more months of Clomid. This was the highest dosage we have tired yet, at 250 mg. There were days where I thought I was going to boil from the inside out due to hot flashes. It is not fun. And again we were met with disappointment. After a lengthy phone call with the doctor, we were advised to seek help from a specialist. Mid December we had our first appointment with Ohio Reproductive Medicine.
The Doctor we met with was very nice. He explained everything from what the body is supposed to be doing, what we’re guessing mine is not doing, and all the steps we will try to over come the issue.
The first step the doctor wanted us to try was a “clomid break”. The idea being that my body wasn’t making its own progesterone, so we dosed it up with clomid, when we weren’t successful (due to the fact that clomid also blocks the estrogen needed to get pregnant), that maybe somewhere along the line, my body figured out what it needed to do, and would make its own progesterone. For the last two months this was the plan. The first month we were glad to receive the news that my levels were within normal range. This month however we were not so lucky. This time around we got the news that I had not ovulated at all.
Now, phase two. I spoke with the doctors’ office today, and the plan is to move on to a procedure called and intrauterine insemination or IUI.
This is the first medically assisted procedure we will try. I am hopeful for this procedure. After months and months of “cross your fingers” or “wait and see” I am ready to move on to something more proactive.

My Mom has a friend she met in nursing school, who spent her career working at an OBGYN office. Jane had suggested to mom, that we go to a specialist, since … and this is a direct quote…
” You can tell just by looking at Kathleen that she isn’t a person who is infertile. She’ll be easy to get pregnant”

I am not sure, but I think there is a compliment in there somewhere…. That or Jane is horrified at the size of my hips… I’ll have to ask her next time I see her.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

Last Sunday Mom, Troy and myself went to a fantastic exhibit at the Ohio Historical Society. From April 25th through July 25th they are featuring  “Caught in the Moment” the Pulitzer Prize Winning Photographs from 1942 through the present.

I cannot say enough about how amazing this exhibit is.  Each of the pictures has been reproduced and enlarged. Next to the photograph itself is a placard that tells the story of the photo and its photographer.

In addition to the pictures, there is a video presentation. The video features an extended look behind six of the award winning pictures. There are interviews with the photographers and others who were witness to the event at hand. One of the photographs highlighted in the video is the 1964 winner, of Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald.

As I walked through the exhibit looking at the pictures and reading the placards, I recognized many of the photos. Some of them are iconic images in American history, pictures like the Oswald photo, the shooting at Kent State, the returning of Vietnam POW’s to their families.

The photographs are in order chronologically, moving through them I of course recognized many of the more recent ones from seeing them in the paper and on television in my lifetime. The rescue of Baby Jessica, the forced taking of Cuban refugee Elian Gonzalez, The Oklahoma City bombing, the shooting at Columbine high school, and of course the fireball exploding out of Tower Two on September 11th.

So many of the pictures are as heart breaking, as they are breath taking.  My favorite picture is the winner from 1984.
Anthony Suau of the Denver Post was awarded for two different sets. One was a series that shows a depiction of the starving children in Ethiopia and for a single shot of a woman in a cemetery at her husbands’ grave on Memorial Day.

It is the Memorial Day picture that brought me to tears.
The picture depicts a widow sitting next to the grave of her husband.  She has her arms wrapped around the grave marker and is just holding on to it with such a strength. Below her arms you can see that the stone is inscribed with all the wars that her husband had been involved in, World War II, Korea, Vietnam etc. This man had been a lifelong dedicated solider and this woman had spent a lifetime loving him and most assuredly waiting for him to come home safe.

The photographer had been in the cemetery shooting Memorial Day events for the local paper, when he had the shots he wanted he began to walk away and that was when he saw the widow. She was hugging the grave, she stopped, then reached out and did it again, and he snapped his picture. When you look at this picture you can see the lifetime of love this woman and her husband shared.

If you are in the Columbus Ohio area, you need to make the time to visit this exhibit.